Alien (1979)
OK. So this was supposed to be done 1-1/2 years ago. I admit it. I suck. I got behind and then totally forgot to come back and fix these! So, today, since I am in for the day, I am going to try and remedy this situation as much as possible. What's really funny about me doing this finally, today, June 16, 2012, is that I saw Prometheus, yesterday for the second time. Ha. Anyway, on to Alien!
So, we open up on the spaceship Thedus, which is on its way back to Earth. All of the crew members, including the amazing and well-loved Officer Ripley (Yay, Sigourney Weaver), are in stasis. There is suddenly a transmission coming from some unknown location and the ship therefore wakes the crew. Several of the crew set out to investigate the source of the signal, while others, including Ripley, stay behind to monitor their progress and make some repairs to the ship. Because, you know, in horror movies, it's always a good idea to separate. Remember that, kiddies. Problems in a remote location? Break up into groups!
We're getting dangerously close... to 80s hair!
So... our bodies who have gone searching for the source stumble upon an alien spacecraft. Inside they encounter a very large, very creepy alien. Even worse that Mr. Creepy is that he appears to have exploded in the chest region. Meh... I'm sure it was just a case of really bad heartburn. No? At this point Ripley figures out that the transmission was a warning? Huh. I guess there really is danger. So... Kane (John Hurt... who doesn't love him?) continues the exploration, coming to a room full of eggs. Nothing foreboding here... until one opens and we meet the facehuggers for the first time! Woo! Oh... no... that's bad. So, Dallas and Lambert schlep Kane back to their ship. And, Ash, being the idiot that he is, (Sorry, Ian Holm... I do ♥ you!) allows them on board, ignoring the quarantine protocol set forth by Ripley. Nothing bad can come of that. Nothing. So... they try to get it off his face to no avail. This is when they discover that the alien's blood is acidic-like (Hey... we call it acid... they might call it acid...). Eventually the creature is found dead later, not on his face. Hmm.
Really, it just looks like a ginormous skeletal hand with two thumbs...
So... the humans decide to head back to Earth. Kane finally awakens and appears to be well... oh, you know where this is going. One is never normal after facehugging. So, during a meal, the best scene ever happens. He starts to convulse and suddenly a little alien bursts from his chest and runs off. I'm sorry, but even thinking about it, I can only remember the scene at the end of Spaceballs:
Hello, my baby; Hello, my honey; Hello my ragtime gal......
Anyhoodle... The crew attempt to locate the creature and kill it. They use electric prods and flamethrowers... the prods.... really? We aren't prodding cattle. Oh well, you gotta make do with what you have. So, Brett decides the cat (why the hell is there a cat in space?) will be his best bet in finding the creature. And he's right! And the alien has grown and kills him, disappearing with his body. Next to disappear a la Alien is Dallas. His plan was to trap the alien in an airlock so that it can then be shot off into space. But, the alien catches him and, yup, you guess it, kills him! Lambert decides everyone should escape in the ship's shuttle, but Ripley, ever the organized realist, notes that it will not support four people... hmmm...
Ripley decides to do some web-surfing... oh, wait... not invented yet... she just plays on the computer and discovers that Ash has been ordered to bring the Alien back to Earth so that it can be studied. Even at the expense of everyone else's lives. So, Ash, being bright, attacks Ripley... thankfully, Parker comes to her defense and decapitates Ash, killing hi... oh, no... he's an android. Not dead. Hmm... I guess they CAN all fit in the shuttle...
"I'm sorry... I didn't realize you were asking for a hug. There's no need to yell!"
Lambert helps by being killed by the alien. More space! Now we can save Ash's body, not just his head! Hee. And of course, Parker is also killed by the alien. So what's Ripley to do? Grab the cat and head for the shuttle. Oh, I should probably add that the plan is to set the ship to self destruct while Ripley and kitty escape on the shuttle. So... running for the shuttle, Ripley is stopped by the Alien. Of course she is! So Ripley heads off in the hopes of shutting down the self-destruct sequence. But when she returns, Alien is gone... meh, I'm sure it's taking a nap. So, Ripley hops on the shuttle, takes off, and barely misses the explosion of the ship. Aahhhhh... time for a nap... oh, damn. The Alien's on the shuttle.
It looks like she has no arms....
Ripley, being the smart gal she is... well... I don't know. I know the majority of the people who would read this have seen the freaking movie... but still... do I want to say the ending? Yeah, I've decided that I am not going to write the endings to any movies I write about. Well, not from here on out anyway. :) Even if it's one most would probably have seen. So...
Go forth in fear!
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